06/15/07

Tony is going to use this section of the webpage to write about some of the things we have learned during our cruising.  If you have specific things you would like us to talk about that would be of general interest to everyone, let us know.

Planning

Obtaining one’s dreams and goals in life requires planning.  All of us have dreams and goals but we rarely actually sit down and map out what we need to do to achieve them or establish a timeline to keep us on track.  Life goes so fast that far too many people reach old age and realize they no longer have the time or health to do what they really wanted too.

When we tell people about our cruising life we generally get the response, “ I wish I could do that,” or “ I have always dreamed of doing that.”  But in actuality they seldom do anything to make that dream, or any other dream, come true.  We all like to find excuses for why we haven’t achieved something like time, money, circumstances, etc., but what is really missing is planning and a willingness to really work towards that dream. 

You can achieve just about anything you want to if you create a plan and then work hard to stick with it.  Sure the plan will change over time, but it keeps you focused and helps keep distractions from getting in the way. 

A case in point:  Since we were teenagers Sandy and I have wanted to go sailing.  We spent our childhood vacations watching boats sail up and down the Intracoastal Waterway of North Carolina and wondered where they were going and what they were doing when they got there. 

In 1988 we sat down at the kitchen table and drew up a very simple plan of what we needed to do so swe could start cruising once the kids were grown and on their own.  We printed out a simple calendar with the major events that had to take place for us to achieve our goal and stuck it on the refrigerator.  The calendar’s timeline went from 1988 to 2001.  There were very few goals to achieve in the early years but as we got closer to 2001 there were more and more things to accomplish. 

We rarely looked at the calendar in the early years, but it was always there, at least in our sub-conscious, and it is amazing how that simple little calendar affected important decisions as we worked, built homes, and raised children.  As 2001 approached we studied and fine tuned the calendar more frequently. 

We strongly believe the 2 hours we spent, back in 1988, making that calendar  was a major factor in achieving our dream.  It kept us focused, helped us make the right decisions along the way, and most importantly kept life’s bends and twists from throwing us too far off course. 

We missed our original departure date by only 2 years, mainly because our kids did not finish college on schedule, but I don’t consider  a 2-year delay all that bad in a plan that was started some 13 years earlier.  Believe it or not that original calendar came off the refrigerator when we sold our home and moved on the boat. 

So regardless of what your goals and dreams are, take the time to sit down and prepare a plan and a calendar for achieving it.  You will have a much better chance of actually realizing it than simply sitting in your office or at home dreaming about how “someday” you want to do something.  Pick a date, not someday, and go for it.  It’s easier than you might think. 

Breaking from the Crowd 

Human beings, as a rule, hate change and are willing to put up with a lot of pain and suffering just to avoid the uncertainty and stress that change will cause, even good change.  Our modern culture also loves to exhort “diversity” but in reality human nature really prefers sameness.  We are much more comfortable with people exactly like us, who dress the same, have the same beliefs, and who are at the same social-economic level.   

What does this have to do with cruising?  Resistance to change and the comfort of being like everyone else has likely stopped more potential cruisers than any other obstacle. 

When you first start talking about cruising you are likely to find that everyone--family, friends, workmates, and church family--simply love the idea and are very supportive of your dream.  Everyone loves dreams because they are non-threatening and are highly unlikely to cause change since dreams rarely come true. 

Then folks see you start actually doing things to make the dream come true.  You buy the boat, go on weekend cruises, and set a date for the dream to actually begin.  Most people are still supportive, but you start getting questions like, “Are you really going to sail off into the sunset?” or “Aren’t you afraid of pirates?” or “ What if you don’t like it?”  You are starting to make some folks uneasy.  But it hasn’t really happened yet so you are still “OK” in most everyone’s opinion. 

Then you take the first really big steps by putting the house up for sale, getting rid of  a car or two, and maybe even move aboard the boat.  You’re still working and going to all the normal social gatherings.  But now you have become a potential threat to “normal.” You are actually trying to achieve your dream, which makes some of your friends and associates uncomfortable and jealous.  They begin to wonder if dreams, maybe their dreams, are achievable.  Some get excited by the possibility, others feel threatened by those same possibilities.  Some of those who initially supported you whole-heartedly are now likely to be somewhat lukewarm in their support.  Some in your social and work community will start to discourage you from leaving with questions like “How long are you going to do this?” which really means its OK to be insane for a little while, but not the rest of your life.  One of the most often asked questions is, “How are you going to live without TV?”  Unfortunately, too many people have a TV life and they cannot imagine any other.  The cruising life is real living, not watching someone else’s fictitious life to compensate for one’s own non-life.  You will not miss one minute of TV, I promise you. 

You make final preparations and/or actually start cruising.  You have broken completely away from normal.  Some folks will remain supportive and even excited.  Many of these folks are ones who really identify with you and enjoy living the adventure through you.  Some of the people in your old circle will distance themselves from you in some way or other.  Others will call you weird,  a loose screw, or things to that effect.   A few will even become somewhat hostile because you have proven that dreams can come true, which causes them to re-examine their own lives and achievements.     

During this time of change you too will be struggling with change, its uncertainty, and its risks, so it is easy for your friends and associates to actually talk you out of cruising, even at this late date.  Many would-be cruisers never actually get away from the dock.  They always  find some excuse to stay close to home a little longer.  If you really question them you generally find that they have no real date in mind for leaving, its always at some hazy future time. They simply can’t make that final leap that is necessary to truly change, and some family and friends,  consciously or subconsciously, encourage them not to depart.  

Cruising friends, prior to our casting off, warned us not to make any decisions about whether to continue the cruising life or not for at least one full year.  We found their recommendation to be right on.  Adjusting to this new way of life is not easy and it really does take a full year to recognize all the benefits of the cruising life.  Unfortunately, we see couples who give up on it after only 3 to 6 months.  If we had been asked how we liked cruising after the first six months I am not sure we would have been all that positive.  (But then again, our first six months of marriage was no picnic, either.)  Many of our cruising friends have had similar experiences.   So its important to commit yourselves to at least one full year before making any decisions about continuing or not. 

You will also find that you have less and less in common with your old crowd.  You have exciting expectations and some real adventures, while many of your old friends only have the last episode of “Survivor” to talk about.  You will be living a real adventure, nothing fake or artificial about it.  And there is this thing called “work” that you loose all understanding for. 

The very, very bright thing about all this is that that final leap is one of the most rewarding things you will ever experience.  Being different isn’t all that bad and you soon learn that there is a fantastic community of cruisers out there that you can identify with and who are very happy to see you join their community.  In no time you will realize just how full and rewarding the cruising life can really be and that there is a whole lot more to life than TV, celebrities, and water fountain talk.  Fortunately, our family and best friends are very supportive and are glad to have us visit when we come home. 

The best part of all is that you will make many new friends out here.  These are friends who will come to your aid when you need it, share their last egg with you and are willing to travel with you to new horizons.  Cruisers are neighbors you actually come to know and enjoy. 

In short, don’t be discouraged or fearful.  The change is really, really worth the effort and there are real people and real adventures waiting for you on the other side.